These NYC feats of athleticism and endurance should be Olympic sports
All eyes have been on the Olympics games in Paris this week. From Pommel Horse Guy (aka Stephen Neodoroscik)’s dizzying performance to Simone Biles’ gold-medal win to the grace of Bob the Cap Catcher, the games have been both astonishing and adorable.
Though we don’t have the chance to win a gold medal for it, sometimes living in New York City feels like competing in the Olympics itself. Running to catch a bus in 90-degree weather, helping a parent carry a stroller up subway stairs, weathering surprise thunderstorms, and navigating Times Square to get to a Broadway show could all be Olympic sports in our opinion. So that got us to thinking: If New Yorkers were to win a gold medal in something, what would it be? We asked on social media, and the answers did not disappoint. So now, with our readers’ help, we now present the Olympic “sports” that New Yorkers would crush.
The Olympic sports of NYC
- Speed walking
- Baby carriage up the subway stairs relay race
- The ability to step over puddles of questionable liquid without breaking their brisk stride
- Jaywalking
- Resilience
- The ability to do 10 different things in less then 30 minutes
- Swiftly doing a days worth of errands near the office all within the remaining 27 minutes after buying and inhaling your lunch
- Understanding other New Yorkers’ attitudes without getting offended
- The crosswalk slush jump
- Minding our business but knowing exactly what’s going on
- The 100-meter dash to beat the closing subway car door
- Telling you like it is
- Not caring about gold medals
- Being unbothered
- Not slapping anyone on the subway
- Waiting on line (not in line)
- Expert parallel parking
- Hailing a yellow cab
- Rat aversion
- Being super helpful and kind with directions
- Bob-and-weave through crowds in 6 inch heels while eating a slice and drinking a coffee as we talk on the phone
- Sitting 3 inches from the tables on either side while maintaining a private dinner conversation with your dining companion
- Ability to walk on cobblestone streets in four-inch heels and not fall over
- Carrying as many things as you can with on your body (for example: backpack, purse, groceries, phone, cup of coffee, etc.). Extra points for going up and down subway stairs with all items
- Cursing in the most languages
- Talking fast
- Pizza-making
- Managing a double stroller with two kids in tow onto a city bus
- Wearing black
- Triathlon: Tourist jumping, subway running and puddle swimming
- Looking at their phones while walking
- Overpaying rent
- Determining if a subway car should be avoided and dashing to another before the doors close
- Attitude
- Theater
- Acceptance
- Surviving